I always have dreams (or delusions) about being able to do it all. I plan, I strategize, I try to manipulate time and when all that breaks down I try to bargain with it...
It turns out I am really bad at bargaining.
Well, here we are OFFICIALLY halfway through the year. I have to say I haven’t been very good at writing here. I don’t want to say that I’ve been bad, but I’ve definitely been on the wrong side of good.
I’ve had a thousand excuses, but like most excuses, they don’t hold up when I really examine them.
Here is the thing I genuinely like this type of writing. I like feeling like I am communicating with you. It is odd since it is all done from behind a screen it seems like it should feel very one-way. But since I see many of you at craft shows throughout the year or when you send me emails or the occasional letter I feel more like we are having a long-running conversation.
We’ve just left May’s mental health month and lost some people who from all outward appearances had it all. I think it is far too easy to feel alone and feel like we have to struggle alone day to day. And that is it isn’t it? We all have our own personal struggles, and in a world where we feel increasingly overwhelmed it is hard to find time to sit with ourselves, to give ourselves the love and space we need, and to reach out when we need help without feeling like we are burdening someone else. In my last post I spoke briefly about my depression, and even in this very safe space, and even being in a good place now, I found it very hard to put that out there. But it is definitely a part of me that I will always have a relationship with, so I have to get over that. Somehow I think we can all find a way to be there for each other more-I haven’t figured it all out (although I have figured out the answer is not on social media).
Well, that was heavy. Anyway, I am trying something new…I am going to give myself a sliver of time every single day to work on writing here. This doesn’t mean I will be posting every day, but I will be working on staying in touch. Instead of giving myself ridiculous deadlines that I repeatedly ignore.